so. LIKE WTF. i'm so mad at Dancing with the Stars! M'ya totally should've won! NOT donny. i swear. it's been rigged and just a popularity contest. she's been a steady strong lead in the show from the beginning! ugh. and kelly osbourne was sooo cute~ kya.

and. i've had like the 2 worse days at work yet. aw man. and it's not even the patients. it's the ppl i work with. like why make the workplace a miserable place to work in? why would you do that to yourself and to the other ppl you work with? yesterday. i had totally did something unappropriate in front of a patient... yes so i muttered to myself, "I don't need the attitude" and the patient got offended and called 5 mins later for the office manager. HA.

so.. i sucked it up and told my boss/aunt what had happened.. things then got all emotional and i was practically bawling my eyes out. i even got my aunt to tear up for the first time in my life.. i had never seen her cry. my aunt has always been such a strong person and everything. i truly love her for all that she's done for me.. >< she's lent me the money to go to rutgers. yes.crazy expensive rutgers... and has given me a job and everything. she's means so much to me. and it's so nice to have someone i can run to when i'm in a pickle. although she can be hard to approach and scary sometimes. but she has never turned me away..... sighs. so when i was still having trouble breathing while trying to stop crying at the same time (you know when you're totally trying to stop but can't cause your messed up breathing when you cry?), she asked, "Why not go back to school?"

I nodded and said, "I want to...."
she said, "when?"
i said, "sept?"
she then went, "Eh? why not January?"
my breathing suddenly went regular, "....that's a good idea. oh crap. that's a REALLY GOOD IDEA."
so here it is. why wait around, why not go back to school? yea. i'm crazy. i haven't been in school for a yr and a half. cripes. IF I HAD STAYED IN THERE I WOULD'VE HAD MY ASSOCIATES IN EDUCATION ALREADY!. but.. in mountains of more debt. lol.

so yea. i'm determined to go for it. my future to become the teacher that terrorizes your future children in the classroom :D

seriously. i was working at the desk. working REALLY HARD. covering someone's shift.. when the clock that hands right above of me.....
*BANG*..............................................................................

i was like WTH?
it turns out that the clock had fallen after some stupid patient had to go and slam the door uber hard. >< it landed RIGHT NEXT TO MY ARM ON THE DESK!!! I WAS LIKE O_O. and like totally continued to work when my coworker, Liz, rushed over and picked up the clock next to me.... I was like in a total daze. MY HEAD WAS INCHES AWAY! I COULD'VE BEEN HIT BY THE FALLING CLOCK!! OMG OMG OMG. i'm one lucky girl...

then my other coworker, Debbie. has to go and joked, "LIKE WOW. DORY ALMOST GOT CLOCKED!"

..............bad joke, i know. but i couldn't help but laugh. and last week's joke was being brain damaged... like seriously. one of our pt's used 'BRAIN DAMAGE' is the reason she couldn't make to the appt!! i was like. um. excuse. me? and she was like yea, i got this letter here that states that you guys have to call to remind me i have an appt... i was like. um. no? we don't have proof of that in your folder!!!! crazy lady. i swear. i have a CRAZY moron call me everyday. AND AT LEAST ONE IS CHINESE. which brings insult to the fact of being chinese... these ppl just don't think. i swear. they just stay home and do !%#%@^@%. (inappropriate things that she just doesn't want to type and gross you all out)

oh geez. the things i learn working at a OBGYN office. the ppl i deal with. no brains.

So... i had already posted for NYAF on deviantart.... so i'll make something up  here.   LOL.
god. the con was so full of noobs. well. i swear. there were these 15 yr olds in front of line of me... like omg. they were like squaking over EVERY cosplay... i was like. please. shut. up. and. stop. drooling. over. my. onigiri. yes. MY. ONIGIRI.  I SWEAR.  one of them was like STARING AT MY ONIGIRI. I'M LIKE HELL NO I'M NOT GIVING IT TO YOU.... (nor am i going to sell you the other two i have in my bag ROFL)... and the youngest one was like 13! she is like a total HENTAI/YAOI FREAK. i was like oh god. you so young. i was sooooo innocent when i was your age!

So I ended up hanging out with these 3 girls who were behind me in line.  They turned out to be uber cool ^-^ and magically the same age as me! lol. they looked so much younger as well. Then they went to a panel and I spent the rest of my con with "Mae" who was in this really nice uber hard looking cosplay!  i swear! everyone kept stopping her for a pic! 

THEN THERE WAS THIS ONE CREEPY GIRL. she like gave me her camera and then asked if i could take a picture of her WITH MAE. we were like OHHHKAY.... THAT WAS WHEN SHE GOT DOWN ON HER KNEES AND WRAPPED HER ARMS AROUND MAE'S LEGS!!!!  we both were like WTF O_O.  oh.. it didn't end there.... she came up to us again when we were hanging with this really uber cute Miku Hatsune cosplayer... SHE HAD THE F---ING GALL TO SHOVE HER CAMERA AT ME AGAIN!  TO TAKE THE PICTURE OF HER AND MIKU-CHAN! I WAS LIKE WTF?!?   she didn't recognize me... OH AND IT DIDN'T END THERE EITHER. haha...   i was hanging out at Borders cause i wanted to rest my feet... so i went to the cafe section.... and there was ONE more chair left. i made a dash for it. AND GUESS WHO STOPPED SHORT AFTER I TOOK THE CHAIR.. THE SAME BITCH WHO SHOVED HER CAMERA AT ME... lol. she didn't recognize me again cause i changed out of my ryomas cosplay.. but i swear the gall of THIS BITCH.... ><

THANK YOU chibiko721 for GETTING MY ALLEN PIC!~~~ <3

and Mae even entered the hall cosplay in which i went in with her as her support!   it's so inspiring and makes me want to enter one of my cosplays into the contest... as a NOVICE of course :D

so that leads to a new thing:  my cosplays for 2010. (Possibly for AnimeBoston again, and AnimeNext 2010)
1. Maya Fey (reprise) BUT IN HER MAID/WAITRESS OUTFIT~~~   (gotta grow hair again)

2. Mitsuki Konishi (reprise) fix up the WIG. ><;;; help someone.. i'm no good with hair... mayb i should color my eyebrows blonde... i swear.. i looked so funky in blonde the last time. idk. it bothered me
.
3. Kay Faraday/ Mikumo Ichijou the newest chara for Gyakuten Kenji (she's like Maya to Phoenix)  I just don't know how i'm gonna pull off that hair.. ><
  

and so.. yes. this is a add-on... i'm applying for JET and other programs. I swear. I'm leaving this country. I don't know how, but i'm gonna get to that side of the world.  I left something there in 2005, and I just know i'm not going to get it back... lol.

Roaming around on deviantart and lj lately~ staring at all the dust on the ps2 that's been collected on it and saying, "i should prolly go and finish kingdom hearts two before the ds one comes out"..... ahahah. just the final battle left. i have this insane obsession with not WANTing to go into the final battle without Sora and his final white form mastered. >< but its' so HARD to master that one.. *mumbles*

feeling bored and lonely. HA. this is what you get for becoming a responsible adult and doing not thing but work all the time. no time to really hang out with friends. or sew. or you know. do something.. ><  there are SEVERAL ppl that i haven' seen in months. they are just too busy to txt me or call me and i'm just too meh to do the same. cause it's the same thing every time... that they're busy with work and too. growing up sucks. i like school... ><

still waiting for JET RESULTS. and.. prince charming. him i can do without for awhile. aha.

BTW. WHO'S GOING TO ANIME NEW YORK FESTIVAL? i'm gonna take off and prolly go.. ^-^  CAUSE I DON'T WANNA GO ALONE. and i want to cosplay!... maya is out of the question especially in the middle of ny.. so i'll prolly just go as ryoma ^-^ wearing comforable sneakers and all ^-^
i need another con. AnimeBoston and Animenext weren't enough for me *ahem, cough* i didn't spend much money at the last two.. >< i'm not kidding. i was too busy MAKING IT in the alley.. HAHAHA.

I swear. i'm falling apart. this speeding ticket is doing horrible things to my pride and soul. i swear. i freaking paid the ticket... but 4 freaking points on top of me now.. 2 i could deal with. but 4?!? i don't know what to do... someone just told me to hurry up and call them to plea not guilty!! BUT I ALREADY PAID IT. >< NOW WHAT DO I DO?!?

i'm telling you. getting stopped by the coppers suck. there's really no justice. i guess it's really not a crime unless you get caught right?

MAN. i'm so depressed. my dad like totally FREAKED cause the insurance is GONNA GO UP >< i keep thinking about it.. and it just keeps making me want to cry. meh. i hate this feeling. i hate the unjustice. i hate how they go and hide on the inner roads instead of going out to catch the creeps who deserve it. i don't believe the officer either. i can't trust them anymore. i'm freaking out whenever i see a cop now. and i mean ANYWHERE i see one. on the road, when i'm walking around. i really don't want to deal with them. HA. like they can save you. i really can't think that anymore. i feel that i can't trust them AT ALL. i swear.... like those dirty politicians... who smile and kiss babies.... and then pocket everything. politics and authorities are just DIRTY businesses.

so yea. dory here. in the fours years she gotten behind the wheel. in the 4 years she had been speeding in her uber cool silver minivan....
she has gotten caught for speeding.

oh. no. she wasn't doing her normal 80 on the turnpike. 
or on the parkway.

i swear. i just go with the flow with the other drivers on the turnpike and parkway.... it's not safe to go SLOWER!!!

I GET CAUGHT ON LOCAL ROADS?!? stupid officer. you have to stop me?!? what about the morons who make illegal left turn or u-turns on eggers and route 18?!? i make a effort to block em!  (cause it's fun when they start cussing me off, and i just laugh and point)



UGH.. california was great actually. well. i can do without the family at some times...san francisco was fun seeing grammy.. (dad's side) especially when grammy's eyes sparkled and widened when she heard the two syllabuls "MA-JONG" hahahah. she is so cute!!!! and i saw my cousin who i've haven't seen in like 8 years.

omg. JAPANTOWN. i could've spent a whole day there. it was small. but i LOVED IT. there were so many stores! and my beloved PURIKURA MACHINES!!! so much fun>< but i was rushed because of my family. MEH. no fun

Let's just say that this will be a chipper post in a long time. my first con that is AWAY FROM HOME! was great~~~ i enjoyed it as i spent time with Mai-chan's Anime Club. Normally it would be her in the middle of my friends LOL. but it was a pretty good con besides the fact that i had absolutely NO CONTROL over anything regarding hotel rooms/bus/food.. haha. i get VERY HOSTILE... when i'm not in control. ^^;;;

<3 <3 <3

yea. Working in the Alley was great too, I saw so much fresh art that i haven't seen before... i did see wigglytype  ^0^  and buy his print... WHERE'S MY TASHIGI ONE?!? lol

but now i'm cramming for Animenext >< oh god.. and Japan Day is coming!! yay! free food!  japandaynyc.org/main/
I'm working the origami tent! Come and visit me~~~

FIGHTO-OH!

so here are the results that i've been waiting for... well. i found out on tues night..

i've been waitlisted as an alternate. *SIGHS* i'm so close, and yet so far. i want to go so badly. sure. it's a great thing i wasn't down right rejected but. you know... soooo i spoke to my aunt. she said that it wasn't fair for them to put ppl's lives on hold like that. IT'S TRUE. for... god knows. they informed me in the email that a call might come from them starting now to december. YES. DECEMBER. it isn't fair. but i'm determined. i HAVE to be in Japan. no matter what. i'm waiting for it. i don't care about anything else right now. just that country.

sighs.

and not only that. my dreams are being torn apart. as what do i really want to become later in life. i regret not doing another major that provides a secure happy job that i'll like. but hey. i enjoy japan. i enjoy their crazy culture. i want to be a teacher. but it seems that it's not good enough. like i'll end up in a depressed stage with a bunch of horrible students. sure life isn't like what it seems in gokusen. HA. i know that. but i want to give it a try.

fighto-oh. T-T

alas. i'm still a wreck and am nervous as ever. it's so NOT  a good idea to go on the jet lj community. it's made me more anxious and perhaps annoying. i'm stressing again. between work, artist alley, and just plain life.. it's sooo unhealthy. sighs. my body's so messed up.... and my tummy's all weird now.
oh wait. maybe cause i'm hungry..... -.-;;; ....i actually think it IS the hunger factor now.... BAH. whatever.

you know that feeling you get when you WANT something so badly, you just know whether or not God is going to give it to you?

*SIGHS* *GROAN*

WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?!?

*locks herself up in basement with sewing machine*

*mumbles* i'm terribly annoyed as to how i missed one of my most favorite singers ever.. >< Utada Hikaru is within a 100 mi radius!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I opted not to go out to sephora on wednesday cause i wasn't truly sure she was going to be there and THERE SHE WAS..

and then i missed her again this morning when she was on CBS Early show.. omg. WHY GOD WHY?!?

my sisters were downstairs eating breakfast when they heard someone singing on tv,  saying, "hey she sounds familar"and then they start screaming, "DORY!!! TURN ON CHANNEL 2!!!"
 i was like "wha?" and spitting out toothpaste.. ew i know.. when i finally was able to turn on the tv... she sang her last note.. at first i was like.. wait. who is this? she looks familiar.. and then i let out a frustrated squeal........ *sighs* i keep missing my hikki.. T-T

i'm a wreck. i'm falling apart. this interview means so much to me. i'm so afraid i'm going to lose it. i want it so bad.

i'm just so nervous. i want to go to Japan so badly. the one thing i want the most.

well. let just say that i'm still alive. :D. sighs. i've been busy with random orders, work, and more work hours... i'm so pooped.
yea. life sucks. i know what you guys are feeling. when u come home and not feel like doing anything after like 8 hours of work. Why couldn't i have found a rich boyfriend like those adorable guys in my Jdramas?!? Hana Yori Dango. LOL. i've gotten back into the obsession with Hanadan and especially Arashi's music~~~~

but words cannot express my true happiness right now.
i've made it to the next stage. i'm going for a interview. i just hope i can make it. just hoping that this may the opportunity that God is allowing me to have. i'm just scared that i'm gonna lose it, but it just brings me excitement to know that it would probably be the greatest gift he could ever give me (besides christmas) LOL. but you know, when you get so far, you just don't want it to be suddenly taken away from you. *sighs*

JET. this is what i've been waiting for~.

http://www.brickjournal.com/wiki/show/LEGO+and+Pokemon

yea... i was like randomly surfing around.. HAHA. and though they look weird, i like em~~~ haha take a look!

and yea.. about my beloved sora. i'm gonna get em. i'm determined. he's MINE. MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i just MUST HAVE. i called Chase and they gave me back all my credit. i'm just glad that i use chase. they were really great about it.  when the lady was like, "the credit will be back on your card within the next 4 days...." which was when i like cried into the phone with tears, "Thank you so much, i was so heartbroken that i wasn't going to get the item, you are wonderful! i wish you a good weekend, i mean week, i mean holidays too~!!!"  it was just as funny wen the lady sounded so starled back that she like laughed.. haha

well. life is okay again~. not.

well. here it goes. i'm heartbroken, devastated, upset.... the 100 dollar Sora figure that i had ordered isn't coming. I've been trying to get on Discountanimedvd to get the tracking # to see where my beloved is... only to find that the site cannot be found. i asked my buddy who told me about the site... he says just wait it out....

that's when i googled their site..... it turns out Funimation (my fav English anime company, they have Conan~ and Tsubasa.. yea) is suing this online site for selling bootleg dvds. i'm depressed. like why couldn't this happen later or before i ordered my honey?

I"m just devastated. all these weeks, i've been waiting for a box to arrive so i can happily open is and smile at this UBER nice sora....

man, i really hate working. i need the feel the rush of having a paper due in like two hours. or the rush of the  'whatever' i give knowing that i have an japanese test on the next day. it just sucks. i want to be back in school with all the hw, paperwork, papers, reading (well i don't read), studying. i like being a student. but of course, when you don't have the money there's no point in bothering. sighs.

today.... let's just say that my boss is getting a bit impatient with me. sure, i love her to death, but at times it seems like she's getting really antsy and frustrated. ALRIGHT. I CAN'T REMEMBER THE FRIGGIN ALPHABET. (only cause i have to sing it like 1000 times when i'm working the paperwork and filing.... YES. i accidently put the N's after the P's. WTF.  sighs.. simple mistake when you've been filing for like the WHOLE day. ><

and there's always someone watching and waitin for you mess up. i hate that feeling. i try so hard no to disappoint my boss.  it makes me guilty and horrible if i were to do it.... just anything to upset her. and at times, i'm just so AFRAID of her.  not a good feeling. and seeing her so much more often than a few years back, it's just so odd. strange to me. but i thought it'll be fun. it still is at times, but has just gotten so bad and with all these cranky bitches come up and call you asking for something of you. what can i do or what can i actually say? sighs.....

i'm sure all you ppl who work understand this hell.

never in my wildest dreams....
would i ever think that i would EVER have as much fun as i did at this con.
sure, it's really different when you have a whole group of ppl coming with you, and that's cool. but it really isn't when you actually worry about them half the time ><  but for the first time in a VERY long time, i enjoyed my time at a anime convention. this is probably the most fun in  VERY long time, besides the fact that i was so stressed from work and whatnot, but i was so looking forward to this one con.  i was REALLY excited when i got there is which enzeru04  and tokyosheart was like O.O when i was twirling around being happy. 

Artist Alley. OMG. that one room in the entire con was the one place where i felt home at. i met so many new ppl, made so many cool friends. saw some old friends and we bonded so much more.  i felt like i fit in with all the other artists~~~ it just made me so sad when Sunday came along.  i loved how ppl were happy when they walked away with my stuff.  seeing them happy made me all the happier.

Dealer's room was crap. 'cept for the ppl who had my LOVELY keyblade~~~ and the dudes where we got monster rancher figures and gseed ones.. LOL

PROPS to my favorite two ppl in the world....
enzeru04 and ryokucha_chan  i <3 you twoooooo. ^^  i truly cannot express how much i'm thankful for you two... *sniff sniff*

http://cgi.ebay.com/Shigure-Sword-of-Sergeant-Major-Tashigi-Anime-Sword-New_W0QQitemZ330283241347QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item330283241347&_trkparms=72%3A1205|39%3A1|66%3A2|65%3A12|240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

I'M TEMPTED. i wanna be tashigi again. i would LOVE to do a one piece cosplay group again~~~

AND THERE'S SNOW?!? I was at like wore in which my buddy enzeru texted me.. saying that it's snowing where we live.

this isn't gonna be a very fun winter is it... lol


SO EXCITED. ^^ i'm taking off this wkend for manganext. FINALLY. i'm just exhausted from work, and stressed. it's just a highly demanding job.... crazy patients.

http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/portable/video/x5odhh_pop-corn

THE FIRST TIME, I LIKE SCREAMED.... >< but it makes me want to try this trick out.. LOL... ANYONE WANNA JOIN ME? lol.
can cell phones really pop popcorn? hmmmmm.